Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
