I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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