well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
