If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
