do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
