you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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