he thought i was a dude.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
