I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
