so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
His hands were made for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may now shotgun with the bride
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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