People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
