at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
