Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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