Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize