she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
