well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize