Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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