I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
