How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
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