He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
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We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
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Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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