Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Randomize
