Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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