i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
