Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
