the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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