I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
