I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
