This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
