You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
