just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
