Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
