He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
