well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
