even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
