My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
My balls are so social today.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
