I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize