Soap is not a condiment
My brain says no but my pants say off.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just forgot I was standing up.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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