i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
