come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
don't judge my taste in strippers
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
