Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
