I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
