I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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