the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
