his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
