Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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