So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
