Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
