Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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