My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
worst night to have a conscience
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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