I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
