we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Randomize
