awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
