I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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