She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
is wine microwaveable?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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