I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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