Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
