so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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