he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
