Porn is love you can see.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize
