I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
