I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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