And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
