Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
