Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
You took a bar mat shot.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
