Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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