I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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