He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Randomize
