Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
