pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
