Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
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I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
this hospital has no fireball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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