absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
