What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
